August 7th was the fourth anniversary of my Meme’s death. I remember the sadness. When you experience the loss of someone whom you love so dearly it cuts deep, and you begin to feel as though you are going to sad forever. I was indeed sad, sad for my grandpa, sad for my dad and his siblings, sad for my brothers and for my cousins, sad that she would never meet her great-grandchildren, and sad that her life was cut short. Praise the Lord that over the years, the sadness has subsided.
Few days have gone by in the past four years that I have not thought about Meme. The littlest things remind me of her. A few months ago I was sitting in church and an older lady sat next to me and must have been wearing the exact perfume that Meme wore because I immediately found myself scooting closer to her (kind of creepy I know) just to take in the aroma that reminded me of my dear grandma. Freckles, ham sandwiches, and ice pops remind me of her too.
I love how God works. When I went to Africa in 2007 I remember sitting at the top of this mountain that we had climbed and we sang, “It Is Well With My Soul.” For some reason that day I had been thinking about her. The prayers she had prayed for me my whole life were being answered even after her death, prayers that I would follow my dreams and serve the Lord on the mission field. There I was. I remember as we sang that song, it was if I could hear her saying to me, “It is well with my soul to see you in Africa, Ab. I love you, babe.” At that point, I’d have to say, it was well with my soul too.
I attended a funeral of a friends’ grandmother earlier this week and heard the pastor say something that made me think. He said, “God must be working on something up there. He has called up some amazing saints this summer.” I like to think of my grandmother as part of that army of saints along side Grandpa Jim, Grace, Grandma Opal, and Marge Sidmon (my friends’ grandmother) all of whom we’ve said goodbye to this summer, but will see again someday. I like to think that she is part of the welcoming committee.
I pray that for those who have lost loved ones this summer and in years past, that as the sadness subsides over the years, the memories stay clear and the smallest things will remind you of their love. That you find peace as you sing, “whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say: it is well, it is well, with my soul.”
(my Meme was very fond of Thomas Kinkade. Her house was decorated with his paintings. The image above is one of his…not my taste but still meaningful.)