Disclaimer: this is a “mom” post. written for moms by a mom.
As a mom, I battle daily the urge to compare myself to other moms. Too many times I’ve caught myself looking at Facebook, reading updates, and saying to myself, “Man, you need to be more like her!” It doesn’t matter what kind of “mom-day” I’ve had. It could have been one of those “perfect” days where I spent hours reading to my girls, fed them delicious, healthy food every meal, let them play outside instead of watch TV, gave them baths, and put them to bed on time, happy, and worn out. I STILL find myself wishing I was more like “SuperMom” (whoever that may be) and feeling inadequate.
Comparing ourselves to others is like taking an orange and trying to turn it into an apple. It is NEVER going to happen. The orange was made for a specific purpose. To meet specific needs. An apple was made for a specific purpose. To meet specific needs. While there are similarities between the two (both are fruits, both have seeds, both come from trees, ect.), I would never be able to give someone an orange and convince them that it is an apple. They’d never buy it. An orange is an orange just like an apple is an apple.
There are different kinds of moms. Some of us are apples, some of us are oranges, some are watermelons, and some aren’t fruits at all. If we, as moms, strive to become something that we were not made to be, then we will die striving. Comparing ourselves to other moms is an insult to our Creator. It is like saying, “Hey I know you made me with a specific purpose, but I don’t really like this purpose and I want to be more like her. Could I maybe exchange what you’ve made me to be for something more like what she has? If you could do that I know I’d be better off. I mean look at her! Her kids are perfect, she LOOKS perfect, and she makes it look so easy. Could you do that for me God? Please?” Who is it in your life? A friend? A sister? Or maybe it’s a complete stranger and you are so in “awe” of her “mommyhood” that you can’t even talk to her. We all have them, those moms that we look at and immediately drop our heads because we’ll never reach that level. Or so we think.
Do we really want to insult our Creator? After all, “his ways are higher than your ways” (Is. 55:9). Stop comparing yourself to everyone around you and start rejoicing in who He made you to be. So what if your two year old isn’t potty trained, His ways are higher than yours. So what if your kids aren’t the smartest in their class, His ways are higher than yours. No matter what happens, His ways are higher than my ways. I can rest in knowing that. He has equipped me with all I need to be Anabelle and Mya’s mom. After all they are His to begin with. Who am I to think that their Heavenly Father would trust them to me without giving me what I need to raise “graceful pillars” (Ps. 144:12). I want to be in a place where no matter what my girls do or don’t do, my identity is found in Him alone, not in my children or what I have or haven’t accomplished. I’m not there yet, but I am leaps and bounds from where I was a year ago. Trust me it’s worth it.
Be encouraged. Stop striving. You are enough.